ME: You know, I think that's when you're writing it. Or after you've sold your book and it's going to be released for real for-reals. Trying to find an agent is more like... trying to get pregnant.
MOTHER: I think that metaphor can go dangerous places if you don't put it in park now.
ME: That's probably true. Excuse me, I need to go tell the internet that I just compared querying to trying to get pregnant. To my mother. I feel like the internet might have something to say about this.
A few minutes later, the internet had some things to say about this:
And this is why you should pick your metaphors carefully.
And if you're really pedantic, you'll know this is why you should know the difference between simile and metaphor, because I have been misusing them throughout this entire blog post.
And if I've traumatized you with regards to queries, you ain't seen nothing until you've read some Philip Roth. You want to see the power of metaphor? You'll never look at an apple the same way again.